veryone thank random commenter Kerry for being amazing and correctly identifying the equation I posted so very long ago. Way to search for the same things I do.

Also, I added Ryan Schaffner to the ol’ blog roll.  Enjoy that, America.  Sorry I am a lazy person and didn’t add you before, Ryan.

Some thoughts about Vertigo, and by extension, about all of us;

In the 1958 Hitchcock film, Jimmy Stewart as John Ferguson attempts to change a woman into his vision of perfection. The two of them do not really exchange words as much as they argue about who she is becoming. If they do, we are not privy to these interchanges. All we see is his obsession with who she could be, not what she is. She eventually cries “Will you love me then? When I look like her?” and he promises that he will.

I had to wonder; how often do we still do that, still try to make subtle changes about the person that we’re with until they are precisely what we want out of a relationship. It ceases to be about that other person, it is enough that they exist, and that they pertain to us in some small way. We get what we think we want, but I think that it’s a pretty widely acknowledged truth that we lose what we had.

On the other hand, shouldn’t we always want more, for ourselves and for our loves? How do we change together without changing each other or changing everything that made us love them in the first place? I think this is what people talk about when they talk about growth. Two people, growing together. I also think that perhaps people should be wholly themselves before entering a relationship, or at least have a damn good idea of what that might look like. I know it’s impossible to be “wholly yourself”, but it seems that when you are really yourself, you have the chance to be loved for what that is, not what it might be.

I hope that we might always love people for who they are, and encourage each other to become the best versions of ourselves. Not by nagging or cajoling, but by truly knowing one another. Knowing one another so well that becoming a better person, a better friend, a better lover isn’t a possibility, it is an actuality.